Monday, May 02, 2005

Women Quotes

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.  ~Alexandre Dumas, fils I'd rather have two girls at seventeen than one at thirty-four.  ~Fred Allen When a woman comes to her glass, she does not employ her time in making herself look more advantageously what she really is, but endeavours to be as much another creature as she possibly can.  Whether this happens because they stay so long and attend their work so diligently that they forget the faces and persons which they first sat down with, or whatever it is, they seldom rise from the toilet the same woman they appeared when they began to dress.  ~Joseph Addison All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 A woman should soften but not weaken a man.  ~Sigmund Freud Women are in league with each other, a secret conspiracy of hearts and pheromones.  ~Camille Paglia When I glimpse the backs of women's knees I seem to hear the first movement of Beethoven's Pastoral Symphony.  ~Author Unknown No woman wants to see herself too clearly.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.  ~Bella Abzug Women go to beauty parlors for the unmussed look men hate.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 Women polish the silver and water the plants and wait to be really needed.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 You have to have the kind of body that doesn't need a girdle in order to get to pose in one.  ~Carolyn Kenmore There are women who do not like to cause suffering to many men at a time, and who prefer to concentrate on one man:  These are the faithful women.  ~Alfred Capus No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her crap.  ~Author Unknown The girls that are always easy on the eyes are never easy on the heart.  ~Author Unknown Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt.  Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I've reached the age where competence is a turn-on.  ~Billy Joel A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery.  ~Diana Stürm You know, women always could endure more than men.  Not only physically, but mentally - did you ever get a peek at some of the husbands?  ~Will Rogers [T]he first time Adam had a chance he laid the blame on woman.  ~Nancy Astor, My Two Countries God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you.  ~Mrs. Patrick Campbell, in reply to a male acquaintance who asked why women seem to have no sense of humor Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell.  ~Alfred Lord Tennyson A woman asks little of love:  only that she be able to feel like a heroine.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.  ~Helen Rowland I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.  ~Stanley Baldwin I should like to know what is the proper function of women, if it is not to make reasons for husbands to stay at home, and still stronger reasons for bachelors to go out.  ~George Eliot, The Mill on the Floss Men look at themselves in mirrors.  Women look for themselves.  ~Elissa Melamed If your husband expects you to laugh, do so; if he expects you to cry, don't; if you don't know what he expects, what are you doing married?  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I do not spoil women... I don't send them flowers and gifts... I am saving those gestures until I am an unpleasant old man who must resort to bribery to win a woman's synthetic affections.  ~George Sanders Women do not find it difficult nowadays to behave like men, but they often find it extremely difficult to behave like gentlemen.  ~Compton Mackenzie, Literature in My Time, 1933 Let us leave the beautiful women to men with no imagination.  ~Marcel Proust, Albertine disparue, 1925 Women deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of twenty-eight and forty.  ~James Thurber, Time, 15 August 1960 Dramatic art in her opinion is knowing how to fill a sweater.  ~Bette Davis, about Jayne Mansfield A woman's whole life is a history of the affections.  ~Washington Irving Women who make men talk better than they are accustomed to are always popular.  ~E.V. Lucas I'm not against half naked girls - not as often as I'd like to be.  ~Benny Hill A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman is as bad as she dares.  ~Elbert Hubbard You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.  ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn" The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them.  ~Robert Graves What men desire is a virgin who is a whore.  ~Edward Dahlbert Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 A woman should be an illusion.  ~Ian Fleming There are three things men can do with women:  love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literature.  ~Stephen Stills It is because of men that women dislike one another.  ~Jean de La Bruyère, Characters, 1688 Woman didn't get the short end of every stick.  At least God gave us handheld massaging shower heads.  ~Rhann Morgan If you are ever in doubt as to whether to kiss a pretty girl, always give her the benefit of the doubt.  ~Thomas Carlyle Women who feel naked without their lipstick are well over thirty.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 Women are like dogs really.  They love like dogs, a little insistently.  And they like to fetch and carry and come back wistfully after hard words, and learn rather easily to carry a basket.  ~Mary Roberts Rinehart It's the good girls who keep the diaries; the bad girls never have the time.  ~Tallulah Bankhead A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal, high enough so you can look up her dress.  ~Steve Martin A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.  ~Karl Kraus A man chases a woman until she catches him.  ~American Proverb Variability is one of the virtues of a woman.  It avoids the crude requirement of polygamy.  So long as you have one good wife you are sure to have a spiritual harem.  ~G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions, 1910 Beauty is the first present Nature gives to women, and the first it takes away.  ~Méré Brains are an asset, if you hide them.  ~Mae West


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