Friday, May 13, 2005

Tax Quotes

Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.  ~Herman Wouk Capital punishment:  The income tax.  ~Jeff Hayes If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer!  ~John Andrew Holmes Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass.  The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there.  I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture").  ~Dave Barry People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes:  men and women.  ~Author Unknown Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant:  animals have instincts, we have taxes.  ~Erving Goffman Taxes:  Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.  ~Author Unknown The purse of the people is the real seat of sensibility.  Let it be drawn upon largely, and they will then listen to truths which could not excite them through any other organ.  ~Thomas Jefferson To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.  ~Benjamin Tucker, Instead of a BookToday, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income.  ~Alfred E. Neuman A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it.  ~Author Unknown Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.  ~Franklin D. Roosevelt I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed.  ~Nancie J. Carmody The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away.  ~John S. Coleman, address, Detroit Chamber of Commerce, 1956 Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 It was as true... as taxes is.  And nothing's truer than them.  ~Charles Dickens Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related.  ~J.C. Watts, Jr. The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.  ~Author Unknown I like to pay taxes.  With them I buy civilization.  ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.  ~Mark Twain Our tax code is so long it makes War and Peace seem breezy.  ~Steven LaTourette We are told that this is an odious and unpopular tax.  I never knew a tax that was not odious and unpopular with the people who paid it.  ~John Sherman You must pay taxes.  But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip.  ~Morgan Stanley advertisement If, from the mo

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