Monday, May 02, 2005

Religion Quotes

How orderly philosophical is the landscape, are all the inhabitants of this World!  It is the creation of a god who "ever plays the geometer."  ~Aldous Huxley, "Music at Night" Traveler:  "God has been mighty good to your fields, Mr. Farmer." Farmer:  "You should have seen how he treated them when I wasn't around." ~Author Unknown You can safely assume that you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.  ~Anne Lamott But who prays for Satan?  Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?  ~Mark Twain I believe in God; I just don't trust anyone who works for him.  ~Author unknown, from a stand-up comedy routine on television There are three religious truths:  1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.  2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.  3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.  ~Author Unknown Not all religion is to be found in the church, any more than all knowledge is found in the classroom.  ~Author Unknown Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.  Religion is answers that may never be questioned.  ~Author Unknown If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament, he would be a criminal.  If he would follow strictly the teachings of the New, he would be insane.  ~Robert G. Ingersoll If triangles had a God, He'd have three sides.  ~Old Yiddish Proverb The more I study religions the more I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself.  ~Richard Burton Religion is a fashionable substitute for Belief.  ~Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, 1891 I contend that we are both atheists.  I just believe in one fewer god than you do.  When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.  ~Stephen Roberts Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?  ~Douglas Adams I didn't know I had a quarrel with him.  ~Henry Thoreau in answer to the question, "Have you made your peace with God?" In some awful, strange, paradoxical way, atheists tend to take religion more seriously than the practitioners.  ~Jonathon Miller I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State.  My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.  ~George Carlin If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying."  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."  ~Saturday Night Live, Jack Handey, "Deep Thoughts " When lip service to some mysterious deity permits bestiality on Wednesday and absolution on Sunday, cash me out.  ~Frank Sinatra Morality is of the highest importance - but

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