Monday, May 02, 2005

Quotable Insults and Comebacks

Lady Nancy Astor, Viscountess:  "If you were my husband, Winston, I should flavour your coffee with poison." Winston Churchill:  "If I were your husband, madam, I should drink it." She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when."  ~P.G. Wodehouse I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.  ~Steven Pearl Yes, Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brain.  So far you are correct.  But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat - at least, not with certainty.  If the specimen composition you send is about your fair usual average, I should judge that a couple of whales would be all you would want for the present.  Not the largest kind, but simply good middling-sized whales.  ~Mark Twain Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.  ~Author Unknown Her face was her chaperone.  ~Rupert Hughes I hope they notice the mistletoe tied to my coattails as I leave town.  ~Abe Lemons She looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.  ~Jonathan Swift, Polite Conversation It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead.  ~Rose Macaulay Dustin Farnum:  "I've never been better!  In the last act yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats." Oliver Herford:  "How clever of you to think of it." O, she is

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