Monday, May 02, 2005

Football Quotes

  There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it.  ~Luke Salisbury The Rose Bowl is the only bowl I've ever seen that I didn't have to clean.  ~Erma Bombeck There are two kinds of people in the world, Notre Dame lovers and Notre Dame haters.  And, quite frankly, they're both a pain in the ass.  ~Dan Devine, former Notre Dame football coach Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous.  ~Chris Laidlaw, 1973 Rugby football is a game I can't claim absolutely to understand in all its niceties, if you know what I mean.  I can follow the broad, general principles, of course.  I mean to say, I know that the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squalch this programme, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in fourteen days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.  ~P.G. Wodehouse, Very Good, Jeeves, 1930 I have seen women walk right past a TV set with a football game on and - this always amazes me - not stop to watch, even if the TV is showing replays of what we call a "good hit," which is a tackle that causes at least one major internal organ to actually fly out of a player's body.  ~Dave Barry I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault.  ~Jack Tatum He was the only man I ever saw who ran his own interference.  ~Steve Owen, about Bronko Nagurski Trying to maintain order during a legalized gang brawl involving 80 toughs with a little whistle, a hanky and a ton of prayer.  ~Anonymous referee, explaining his job There are several differences between a football game and a revolution.  For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms.  Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game.  The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line.  This counts as six points.  No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either.  Kicking is very important in football.  In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally.  ~Alfred Hitchcock Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of.  For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all these incursions by women.  It's our Alamo.  ~Tony Kornheiser Speed is not your fastest, but your slowest man.  No back can run faster than his interference.  ~Jock Sutherland When it comes to football, God is prejudiced - toward big, fast kids.  ~Chuck Mills Australian Rules football might best be described as a game devised for padded cells, played in the open air.  ~Jim Murray Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers.  ~Merle Kessler Speed, strength, and the inability to register pain immediately.  ~Reggie Williams, when asked his greatest strengths as a football player Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen.  Soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts.  Football is a beastly game played by beasts.  ~Henry Blaha, 1972 The tactical difference between Association Football and Rugby with its varieties seems to be that in the former the ball is the missile, in the latter men are the missiles.  ~Alfred E. Crawley, The Book of the Ball, 1913 What about football?  Is it a sport or a concussion?  ~Jim Murray, Los Angeles Times Related Quotations: Sports Page Information: document.write(LastUpdate())               


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