Sunday, May 01, 2005

Diet Quotes

It is a hard matter, my fellow citizens, to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.  ~Plutarch I'm allergic to food.  Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.  ~Jennifer Greene Duncan I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.  ~Jane Wagner A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.  ~Author Unknown It's not women's fault that diets don't work.  It's not perversity of lack of willpower.  God did this - in Her great wisdom.  ~Dr. Wayne Callaway Where do you go to get anorexia?  ~Shelley Winters To lengthen your life, shorten your meals.  ~Proverb Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.  ~Author Unknown I am a nutritional overachiever.  ~Author Unknown The second day of a diet is always easier than the first.  By the second day, you're off it.  ~Jackie Gleason You know it's time to diet when you push away from the table and the table moves.  ~Quoted in The Cockle Bur If food is your best friend, it's also your worst enemy.  ~"Grandpa" Edward Jones, 1978 I have a great diet.  You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.  ~Ed Bluestone A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.  ~Herbert B. Prochnow I'm not overweight.  I'm just nine inches too short.  ~Shelley Winters Govern well thy appetite, lest Sin Surprise thee, and her black attendant, Death. ~John Milton As for food, half of my friends have dug their graves with their teeth.  ~Chauncey M. Depew To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing.  ~Mark Twain, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, 1876 I'm on a 90-day wonder diet.  Thus far, I've lost 45 days.  ~Author UnknownI'm in shape.  Round is a shape... isn't it?  ~Author Unknown I've been on a constant diet for the last two decades.  I've lost a total of 789 pounds.  By all accounts, I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.  ~Erma Bombeck My advice if you insist on slimming:  Eat as much as you like - just don't swallow it.  ~Harry Secombe I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food.  ~Erma Bombeck Forget about calories - everything makes thin people thinner, and fat people fatter.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966 In general, mankind, since the improvement of cookery, eats twice as much as nature requires.  ~Benjamin Franklin When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away.  But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later.  Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.  ~Janette Barber Clogged with yesterday's excess, the body drags the mind down with it.  ~Horace They are sick that surfeit with too much, as they that starve with nothing.  ~William Shakespeare We rarely repent of having eaten too little.  ~Thomas Jefferson History is apt to judge harshly those who sacrifice tomorrow for today.  ~Harold MacMillan A waist is a terrible thing to mind.  ~Tom Wilson The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.  ~Dave Barry Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.  ~Author Unknown Gluttony is not a secret vice.  ~Orson Welles If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information:  french-fried potatoes are out.  ~Jean Kerr All people are made alike - of bones and flesh and dinner - Only the dinners are different. ~Gertrude Louise Cheney My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.  Unless there are three other people.  ~Orson Welles We're the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it.  ~Author Unknown If I can't have too many truffles I'll do without.  ~Colette The only way to lose weight is to check it as ai

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