Thursday, May 12, 2005

Alcohol and Drinking Quotes

The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960 I envy people who drink - at least they know what to blame everything on.  ~Oscar Levant Remember:  "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.  ~Author Unknown Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector.  It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully.  ~Graham Greene I'll stick with gin.  Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.  ~M*A*S*H, Hawkeye, "Ceasefire," 1973 No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink.  ~Lord Chesterton Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.  ~Jean Kerr We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey.  Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good.  ~Horace Hutchinson Drunkenness is temporary suicide.  ~Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink.  ~Author Unknown Wine gives a man nothing... it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.  ~Samuel Johnson A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck.  ~Author Unknown Wine is sunlight, held together by water.  ~Galileo If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine.  ~Author Unknown They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.  ~Scottish Proverb Bacchus has drowned more men than Neptune.  ~Giuseppe Garibaldi A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.  ~W.C. Fields Zen martini:  A martini with no vermouth at all.  And no gin, either.  ~P.J. O'Rourke Beer is the cause and solution to all of life's problems.  ~Homer Simpson I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.  ~Phil Harris Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.  ~Seneca Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.  ~Kin Hubbard If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class.  There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice.  The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity.  ~Abraham Lincoln, address to the Washington Temperance Society, Springfield, Illinois, 22 February 1842 I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.  ~Don Marquis Be wary of strong drink.  It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss.  ~Robert Heinlein Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?  ~Robert Benchley When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.  ~Henny Youngman My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses.  Drinks right out of the bottle.  ~Henny Youngman I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.  ~Winston Churchill Of the demonstrably wise there are but two:  those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.  ~Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935 Brandy, n.  A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.  ~Ambrose Bierce Drink the first.  Sip the second slowly.  Skip the third.  ~Knute Rockne Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker. ~Ogden Nash, Reflection on Ice-Breaking If you drink, don't drive.  Don't even putt.  ~Dean Martin Wine gives courage and makes men more apt for passion.  ~Ovid Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life.  ~Author Unknown Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.  ~Phyllis Diller No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.  ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires Everyone who drinks is not a poet.  Some of us drink because we're not poets.  ~From the movie Arthur How come if a

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